Now that Chris Colfer of Glee fame has become a published author with a fairy tale for kids (The Land of Stories: The Wishing Spell), we got to thinking of some other celebrity-penned books that we’d like to see:
Squirrel: It’s What’s for Dinner by Jennifer Lawrence (actress, Winter’s Bone and The Hunger Games)
Enjoy Jennifer’s suggestions for whipping up tasty, healthful, and budget-minded meals using America’s favorite rodent. Subsistence hunting never tasted so good!
Playing Both Ends Off the Middle by Stephen Colbert (TV “newsman,” writer, actor, comedian)
In this tale of politics beyond the Beltway, young voters realize that their only way to be heard is to work with America’s most powerful voting bloc — senior citizens. But how to convince oldsters that youth are friends, not foes? In an aha! moment, teens realize that males of both generations wear their pants low around their non-existent hips. The Saggers reach out to the Sansabelts and form a powerful coalition — a little too powerful for the Plumbers Union, who control the “intergluteal cleft” lobby. Can the hip-hop/hip replacement alliance prevail? And will those kids ever get off the lawn?
[Especially since Stephen has already penned a picture book (with a “Caldecott Eligible” seal!), moving on to YA seems like the next logical step! -ed.]
Super Hair Care by Chris Hemsworth (actor, Thor)
Enjoy this step-by-step guide to maintaining lustrous locks even while you’re saving the universe … because hair flipping isn’t just for the ladies! Contains a bonus chapter on how to maintain your complexion while traveling the bridge to Earth.
Abe Lincoln/Babe Lincoln by Kim Kardashian (professional celebrity)
Desperate to stop the civil war between the hotties and the notties at Dan Quayle High, science teachers reanimate the 16th president of the U.S. to lead peace negotiations. Discovering that no one will listen to an “aesthetically challenged American,” they transfer Lincoln’s brain into Zac Efron’s body. Peace ensues in time for prom, and the new babelicious Lincoln runs for class president on a platform of free makeovers for all.
Where the Pretty Darn Sedate Things Are by Lady Gaga (singer, songwriter)
While dancing at an exclusive NYC club, party girl Stefi falls off her 6-inch platform shoes, hits her head, and hallucinates an alternate reality in which she lives in Lower Dullsville and is married to an accountant who wears relaxed fit khakis. The horror intensifies when Stefi learns that her husband is leaving her for the perfume spritzer lady at the outlet mall because he’s “looking for a little excitement.” Will Stefi wake up back in the high life, or will she be doomed to a netherworld of designer knockoffs and pleather shoes?
Is there a book written by a celebrity that you’d like to see? Let us (and them) know!
— Suzanne Neumann, currently reading As Easy as Falling Off the Face of the Earth by Lynne Rae Perkins